Mommy's Diary

Where do I start? I have a lot on my mind and I don't think I want it all out here.

First I ask you, am I wrong for not wanting my baby girl to crawl until she's 10 and walk when she's 20 and move out of my home when she's 50? She's my last, my only girl, I want this "season" to last a while longer, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Someone has a mind of her own! I can no longer put her on a blanket and know that when I leave the room for a minute she'll be there when I get back. This is just so upsetting! Why does she have to grow up????? For a month now she has been doing what we call the low crawl. While on her stomach, she'll stretch her arms out and pull her body. She does this all over the place. Well, she's now trying to master the art of crawling on all 4s. She gets on all 4s, can move her legs forward and her arms are almost there. In no time will she be even more mobile! One thing she's never done that the boys did was go backwards. The boys on the other hand never did the low crawl. And she is not satisfied to sit still either, she HAS to be moving! Why can't she be like the 2 babies that are 2 weeks younger than her. Neither one of them are in a hurry to get moving. They are super content to just lay there. Both of them have only turned over once. What am I doing wrong that mine doesn't want to lay there? And I can assure you, I've had many talks with her telling her to wait 9 1/2 more years before she crawls. WAIT...THAT'S IT!!! I figured out what I'm doing wrong. I'm telling her to WAIT. Everyone with kids knows that they don't do what you tell them. So, maybe I should try the reverse psychology. "Hurry up and crawl" and then she won't want to do anything. But then again, if she does listen to me about that, I'll have the horrible guilt of knowing that I was encouraging her. I can't win!

The boys are doing great. Christian is still in t-ball and doing AWESOME!!! Last night he played 1st base and he actually went and got the ball 3 times and tagged the base and got the runner out. He even got the ball and threw it home and got the runner out. He even got a homerun and passed 2 of the 3 runners on base. I know, normally he would have been out, but you know, I just don't have the heart to tell him to not do that. I think it's cute that he's so fast and passing everyone and LAUGHING as he's doing it! When he goes to coach pitch next year I'll make sure he knows that he can't pass the runner in front of him or he'll be out, but for now, they're playing for fun. I see so much of me in him when he's playing, some is great and some kind of scares me (like the "I have to win" attitude). To be honest though, it's hard for me to watch; one because when the coach isn't telling him something right, I want to jump in and fix it (I want him to learn correctly) and two, cause ball was my first love and I really miss playing! Steve has even had to tell me to calm down and be quiet and let the coach handle things. Not easy for this momma!

Zachary is just so sweet! When I think back to my pregnancy with him and remember that I said "he was supposed to be a girl" I have tremendous guilt. He's so loving and so affectionate and all around joy to be with! I feel bad for him though. I wants to play ball and do all the things that his big brother is doing, but he can't. I'm tired of everyone telling him he's "too young". Steve and Christian will be at Pow-Wow (camping with Royal Rangers) Friday through Sunday. I'm going to do something special with Zachary since he wants to go camping with daddy, but he's too young.

Also, this time 2 years ago I was preparing Vacation Bible School with Rob and Tami. Last year, they had just moved and we didn't do one. This year, I'm in charge of all the decorating, taking us to the arctic. I have mixed emotions about this. It's a challenge and I love being challenged but then I think about the last time I did this, I had Rob next to me all the way. We worked great together and right now, I'm just thinking about how I'm going to get through all this without Rob and Tami (and the kids!) Someday I hope to be living near them again and be working with them! In the meantime, I have to settle for being able to visit them when we go home to PA. Speaking of which, we're talking about going there for Christmas this year. Steve and I have been married 10 years and we've never spent Christmas with his family. By going out there, we'll get to see his entire family, my grandparents, aunt and uncle and Rob, Tami and kids! Plus, we can take a trip to DC and that could be a historical field trip! With our grandparents getting older, we want them to be able to meet Eliana and see the boys. So Rob and Tami, I'm hoping that we can get out there for Christmas and see you guys! Oh, and Rachel got engaged on May 26th and they plan on being married within a month!

Ok, so that's all for this edition of the craziness inside my head.

I have pictures but not the time to upload them, so that'll come at another time!